maybe its cause you don't have much to say
maybe its cause you don't have anything interesting to say
maybe its cause you have too much to say but no energy to write
maybe its cause you've eaten too many prawn chips and you're stomach is a bit eeeeky
maybe its cause you've spent the entire day working on completely reformatting your CV and been writing constantly
maybe its cause you don't have any good news and you don't want to be one more in the crowd that writes about bad news
maybe none of the above
maybe all of the above
With application after application sent out... tryin its best to win me a job... yet no response to any of them, this current job of mine surely is an extremely thankless one... if I had written half as much and half as well in a "real job" as I have these past few months I'm confident would have got some feedback... probably quite good... but conveniently companies now end every job description with a
"Due to the large quantity of applications we receive we will not be giving feedback to individual applications. If you have not heard from us in the next two days/two weeks/two months your application was unsuccessful. Please do not take it personally but somebody else was more suited to the job than you this time"Why not chase them despite what they write on their sites... well because getting their contact details is very tough, calling a receptionist without a name of who you would like to speak to... equipped only with the fact that you'd like to talk about the Marketing Manager role... makes for an interesting conversation...
I feel that this week so far has been a very good week for me, my confidence is up... my determination is unwavering... i'm ignorant of the distractions either side of this road to a job... and yet its only natural to question what it is you're doing wrong? what do I change? what can i do? where do i go? when do things change? yet i keep gettin back to that goal, to that vision... that guiding light...
Its interesting to follow a number of different stories as well though... friends who are unhappy at work, friends who fear the axe soon, friends who have never had so much work to do, experienced and qualified friends who can't get a job at mcdonalds... the times bring up a lot of surprises... there are a lot of changes occuring...
yet many things remain the same... this weekend my friend Anders came to visit from Lund... friendships don't have to change due to the times... it was great having Anders in town to just chill... it was a very easy weekend with fairly little stress...another thing that doesn't change is that people go to football games ...
One of the reasons Anders came to London this weekend was to watch football but with his brilliant timing many of the games were called off due to bad weather... Charlton.. a team with undersoil heating... Watford, another team with undersoil heating... both called off their games, these teams are in the championship (Second division of the English football league)... but Brentford... Brentford Football Club...the Bees in the League two (the fourth division in the english league) their ground was playable and Saturday was a beautiful day... Football doesn't change at its heart due to the times...the beauty of the game doesn't change at all... Brentford vs. Chester City was a great game of football. Perhaps too one sided as the game was effectively over after 45 minutes (3-0 final score and our hero on the day was Charlie MacDonald.. hattrick hero)... there was intensity, there was spirit, and heart... everything football is about... no diving or acting... just pure football...
In the crowd, the two extremes were easy to see.... two little boys sat infront of Anders and I screaming things at the Lino (Linesman)... rather rude... not as rude as at QPR but rude... and the great contrast was a few seats down... a little boy, a few years younger than the two hecklers...sitting with his mom and dad... stood up and said "Hey you two, thats not very nice, please be quiet"... no swear words, no indecencies... just pure innocence... absolutely lovely to see... After halftime though we witnessed two grown men stand up... exchange a few words and then suddenly pop... one of the men jabs the other one in the head... security rush in and yet its all still fairly relaxed... football is pure emotions in the uk... but the game can be so pure that its beautiful... the one who wants it more wins, the one who's more intense wins, the smartest wins...
Last week my former colleague Paul... from my time at Appium came to town... he for one has loads to do... together with a friend/colleague we enjoyed lovely Thai food for dinner... and we chatted and laughed at lots of different things... I am so lucky to have worked with people of all ages and become friends with people from other generations... Paul and his friend Ken were extremely supportive and offered interesting advice that few in my generation would have thought about... its funny though how minimal the differences in generations is though.. we can still chat about the same things we would if we were in a group of people the exact same age... its a great phenomenon and I hope that in my next work I am fortunate enough to work with people of many ages... (was about to say many shapes and sizes as well but don't really know how that really affects anything really)...
And then there is yesterday... we met up with Jimmy... Jimbo... we being a half dozen people from St. Johns international school which Jimmy also attended... Jimmy always spreads fun... he's a man that seems to follow his heart... he's an extremely talented chef who has worked at incredible restaurants and has a great love for Eastern food... its reiterates my pursuit of finding that something that you really enjoy doing... and doing it... sure there will be other problems, other things to fight... but you'll be doing what you want to... thats our generation in a nutshell...
And to end on a great note... Anne's been doing absolutely fantastically... She met some fantastic hair stylists on a shoot on Monday who had worked with famous talented people and who said fantastic things about Anne... tonight she's working on her first paid make-up job for a girl who's getting married in April... and next monday she begins working at a Soup restaurant called Nusa on Old Street to earn a little extra money... She's FANTASTIC!!!
And so... what turned out to be an... "I don't want to write day" has turned into a mammoth essay...
maybe when you get started you can't stop
maybe you have more to say than you think
maybe its all about getting started and letting it just go
maybe its refreshing to put you're ideas on paper
maybe only a few of you have actually managed to get this far
maybe tomorrow I'll get a job
Maybe...
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